Smile — you’re on camera!

Your Board has activated HOA DEFCON LEVEL 3 and deployed the Neighborhood Surveillance & Oppression Unit.
Your exact coordinates are required immediately so they can determine which rules you’ve violated today.

Proposed new FINE SCHEDULE (effective immediately):

Picking your nose – $25 environmental Violation (bio-hazard concerns).

Making a face at the camera -  – $100 attitude adjustment fine.

Farting too loud at night – $15 per fart

Standing in the elevator facing the wrong direction – $50 orientation fine.     Smiling in the common areas – $75 misery preservation assessment

PREMIUM PENALTIES:
Giving Board member a finger – $250 Felonious Gesture Charge, payable within 30 seconds or interest compounds hourly.

Throwing a party / laughing / enjoying life – $500 Joy Prohibition Penalty

Discussing HOA problems – $1000/word - Unauthorized Truth-Telling Fee

SPECIAL PROMOTIONS:
• Kissing board member rear end – 1 late fee removed.
• Kissing it twice – 3 late fees removed + 1 complimentary “Good Resident” sticker.
• Kissing it three times – and you can hang your Christmas light.

LOYALTY REWARDS PROGRAM:
 
– a commemorative photo of yourself being watched on camera.

Remember, its all for your “safety”.

Thank you for your compliance. Resistance is futile.

Naper Place News

Lisle, IL 60532